Post by Travis Dawson on Nov 22, 2020 1:42:36 GMT
ADI GOLD -vs- DRUSCILLA WHITE
ADI GOLD
ADI GOLD
Match Relevance
(How often did you mention the match, whether in dialogue or in scene?)
[ ] 1 - none
[ ] 2 - a few mentions
[ ] 3 - good
[x] 4 - solid
[ ] 5 - great
Character Development
(How much character development did you pack into your latest RP? Did we learn anything new about your character?)
[ ] 1 - reactionary RP or lacked any character development
[ ] 2 - fair amount
[x] 3 - good amount
[ ] 4 - great amount, equally balanced with match relevance
Cohesiveness/Flow
(How easy to read was your RP? Was it all over the place or was it a straight-forward read?)
[ ] 1 - very hard to follow
[ ] 2 - okay, could use some work
[x] 3 - good
[ ] 4 - very well balanced
Selling Results
(Did you mention what happened during the past show/sell any gashes or injuries?)
(Newcomers get an automatic 'bye' / 2 score here)
[ ] 1 - no
[x] 2 - yes
Grammar
(How was the writer's grammar/punctuation/use of words?)
[ ] 1 - did you english, though?
[x] 2 - fair
[ ] 3 - good / displays character's personality
[ ] 4 - great
[ ] 5 - amazing
Realism
(Could we actually see everything within your RP happening?)
[ ] 1 - no
[x] 2 - yes
Creativity
(The most important category. Factors may include and are not limited to: making great use of location, being very descriptive, drawing emotion out of the reader whether it be sorrow, comedy, or suspense, finding ways to not only trash talk your opponents but others on the roster, doing your research, bringing up your opponent's past, discussing your character's future in depth as it pertains to both in-ring and what your character has going on outside of the ring, and continuity (because we are all, after all, telling a story.. portions at a time!), incorporating real life current events, etc.)
[ ] 1 - not the most imaginative
[ ] 2 - could use improvement
[ ] 3 - fair
[ ] 4 - outside the box/unique
[x] 5 - good
[ ] 6 - great
[ ] 7 - top 5 material
[ ] 8 - RP of the Week Caliber
Score out of 25: 21 of 30
Thoughts: I like this roleplay. I love the flow between Adi and her brother, Fisher. I'd maybe work a little more on proof reading. There were a few grammatical errors where you could have picked up some points. Also, I feel like the ending kind of went a little flat. I'd love to see more of what Adi's response could have been to essentially being boo'ed out of the restaurant. However, I think it is a good start for you here at F2B and I cannot wait to see more of the development for Adi!
DRUSCILLA WHITE
Match Relevance
(How often did you mention the match, whether in dialogue or in scene?)
[ ] 1 - none
[ ] 2 - a few mentions
[ ] 3 - good
[x] 4 - solid
[ ] 5 - great
Character Development
(How much character development did you pack into your latest RP? Did we learn anything new about your character?)
[ ] 1 - reactionary RP or lacked any character development
[ ] 2 - fair amount
[ ] 3 - good amount
[x] 4 - great amount, equally balanced with match relevance
Cohesiveness/Flow
(How easy to read was your RP? Was it all over the place or was it a straight-forward read?)
[ ] 1 - very hard to follow
[ ] 2 - okay, could use some work
[x] 3 - good
[ ] 4 - very well balanced
Selling Results
(Did you mention what happened during the past show/sell any gashes or injuries?)
(Newcomers get an automatic 'bye' / 2 score here)
[ ] 1 - no
[x] 2 - yes
Grammar
(How was the writer's grammar/punctuation/use of words?)
[ ] 1 - did you english, though?
[ ] 2 - fair
[ ] 3 - good / displays character's personality
[ ] 4 - great
[x] 5 - amazing
Realism
(Could we actually see everything within your RP happening?)
[ ] 1 - no
[x] 2 - yes
Creativity
(The most important category. Factors may include and are not limited to: making great use of location, being very descriptive, drawing emotion out of the reader whether it be sorrow, comedy, or suspense, finding ways to not only trash talk your opponents but others on the roster, doing your research, bringing up your opponent's past, discussing your character's future in depth as it pertains to both in-ring and what your character has going on outside of the ring, and continuity (because we are all, after all, telling a story.. portions at a time!), incorporating real life current events, etc.)
[ ] 1 - not the most imaginative
[ ] 2 - could use improvement
[ ] 3 - fair
[ ] 4 - outside the box/unique
[ ] 5 - good
[ ] 6 - great
[x] 7 - top 5 material
[ ] 8 - RP of the Week Caliber
Score out of 25: 27 of 30
Thoughts: This is great work. Really great writing. I love the backstory to build up Druscilla, where we see her come from a home where ..essentially she wasn't wanted, to breaking out on her own and finding her own family. Then, the eerie match relevance, building up the wolf clan and all, I did find some of the match relevance to be reactionary, but not fully in a way that is over the top and takes away from the true message Dru was getting at. Great work. Definitely top five material!
MATCH TOTAL: 48 of 60