Post by Paul Montuori on Jan 27, 2021 0:54:57 GMT
EXT. BROADWAY, NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE - NIGHT
A car pulls up to a busy street with people walking around everywhere, live music blaring out of bars along the street. The back door of the car opens as Paul Montuori steps out followed by GOAT. He closes the door as the car starts to drive off. Paul runs after the car, knocking on the window as it stops. Paul opens the back door and pulls out his half of the OPW Tag titles, then closes the door again. He starts to walk aimlessly down the street as GOAT follows along.
PAUL MONTUORI
Close call GOAT.. Can’t believe our time together is winding down man. One more week to go. After Nashville, we hit up Mexico to defend the tag titles in OPW. Have you ever been to Mexico? It’s dope. I know mad senoritas.
GOAT
Baahhh..
PAUL MONTUORI
I mean.. If you wanna see a donkey show, I guess we could find one. It’s fucking Mexico, that’s like the national pasttime. I just don’t know if they have any goat shows. Dood! Lightbulb, what if we moved you down to Mexico and we started a traveling GOAT Show. You could do some cool ass shit like juggle and jump through fire hula hoops. Then at the end, ya fuck some American tourists that are down looking for a show. We’d make a killing. Way more than F2B makes from attendance. I heard they give out tons of tickets so the arena looks full. But whatever, my checks keep clearing.
GOAT
Bahhh..
PAUL MONTUORI
Your cut? You haven’t done shit. Were you even ringside for my match against Tyler Knowles? Plus, I have to give you back to TK soon. Pretty sure the FBI has been tapping my phone. I have a buddy who said something about being connected to murders. I don’t know anything about murders. Aside from those dolls that B keeps in that shed at his house.
Close call GOAT.. Can’t believe our time together is winding down man. One more week to go. After Nashville, we hit up Mexico to defend the tag titles in OPW. Have you ever been to Mexico? It’s dope. I know mad senoritas.
GOAT
Baahhh..
PAUL MONTUORI
I mean.. If you wanna see a donkey show, I guess we could find one. It’s fucking Mexico, that’s like the national pasttime. I just don’t know if they have any goat shows. Dood! Lightbulb, what if we moved you down to Mexico and we started a traveling GOAT Show. You could do some cool ass shit like juggle and jump through fire hula hoops. Then at the end, ya fuck some American tourists that are down looking for a show. We’d make a killing. Way more than F2B makes from attendance. I heard they give out tons of tickets so the arena looks full. But whatever, my checks keep clearing.
GOAT
Bahhh..
PAUL MONTUORI
Your cut? You haven’t done shit. Were you even ringside for my match against Tyler Knowles? Plus, I have to give you back to TK soon. Pretty sure the FBI has been tapping my phone. I have a buddy who said something about being connected to murders. I don’t know anything about murders. Aside from those dolls that B keeps in that shed at his house.
GOAT
Bahhh..
PAUL MONTUORI
Yeah right, those aren’t REAL dead people..
HILLBILLY #1
(O.S.)
We don’t like your kind here. Go back to where you came from!
Bahhh..
PAUL MONTUORI
Yeah right, those aren’t REAL dead people..
HILLBILLY #1
(O.S.)
We don’t like your kind here. Go back to where you came from!
Paul stops in his tracks. He looks down at GOAT, shaking his head before turning around to see a group of good ol’ boys standing on the corner, sneering at him.
PAUL MONTUORI
Who doesn’t like goats? That’s unfuckingAmerican.
HILLBILLY #2
Who said anything about goats?
HILLBILLY #1
We love goats here in ol’ Tennessee. I was talking about you, hippy boy.
PAUL MONTUORI
Talking about me? Me?
Who doesn’t like goats? That’s unfuckingAmerican.
HILLBILLY #2
Who said anything about goats?
HILLBILLY #1
We love goats here in ol’ Tennessee. I was talking about you, hippy boy.
PAUL MONTUORI
Talking about me? Me?
Paul looks down at GOAT and back at the good ol’ boys.
PAUL MONTUORI
(shrugging)
Eh.. I don’t blame ya.
(shrugging)
Eh.. I don’t blame ya.
Paul turns around and walks away as GOAT follows.
PAUL MONTUORI
Ya know GOAT, I have no fucking clue what’s going on.. Wanna go in here?
Paul points to a bar with “Karaoke” flashing in neon in the window. GOAT shrugs in the only way a goat can shrug.
INT. BAR - CONTINUOUS
The door opens as Paul, OPW Tag gold draped over his shoulder, walks in with GOAT. They strut towards the bar, before Paul stops, looking around to realize no one is paying attention to him. He steps up to the bar, picking up GOAT and placing him on a barstool.
PAUL MONTUORI
Barkeep!
Paul turns his attention to the stage, seeing a big breasted, blonde on stage, singing karaoke.
PAUL MONTUORI
Is that Dolly Parton?
She stops singing as the bar goes crazy. She waves, stepping off stage. Paul turns to see GOAT is no longer sitting on the stool. He turns backs over to see GOAT running towards the blonde coming off the stage, tongue wagging.
PAUL MONTUORI
Not again..
Paul takes off towards the stage, pushing people out of the way. He stops at the blonde who’s knelt down as GOAT is going nuts, licking her face.
PAUL MONTUORI
Ms. Parton, I’m so sorry for my friend here. We’re big fans of your huge uh.. Hits. Big hits..
She looks up at Paul.
PAUL MONTUORI
Wait.. You’re not Dolly.. I know you.. You’re Beulah, Vodkha’s mom.
BEULAH
You’re my Frannie’s friend?
PAUL MONTUORI
Yes mam. We actually were a little bit more than friends.. Wow, you’re even more beautiful in-person.
BEULAH
Well aren’t you just sweeter than honey on a babies bottom!
BEULAH
You’re my Frannie’s friend?
PAUL MONTUORI
Yes mam. We actually were a little bit more than friends.. Wow, you’re even more beautiful in-person.
BEULAH
Well aren’t you just sweeter than honey on a babies bottom!
She stands up as GOAT doesn’t relent. Paul grabs him from the collar of his shirt and pulls him back.
PAUL MONTUORI
I’m sorry for GOAT here. He uh.. He’s a fan of your singing.
BEULAH
Aw he ain’t doin’ no harm, not the first time I’ve had someone try to get a snoot full.
PAUL MONTUORI
What a small word running into you. Has your daughter ever mentioned me?
BEULAH
You know, I do seem to recall some mention of a Paul when she was down visiting for the holidays. Only I can’t repeat the rest of what she said on account it’s not proper to say in public.
I’m sorry for GOAT here. He uh.. He’s a fan of your singing.
BEULAH
Aw he ain’t doin’ no harm, not the first time I’ve had someone try to get a snoot full.
PAUL MONTUORI
What a small word running into you. Has your daughter ever mentioned me?
BEULAH
You know, I do seem to recall some mention of a Paul when she was down visiting for the holidays. Only I can’t repeat the rest of what she said on account it’s not proper to say in public.
Paul looks down to see GOAT has escaped the shirt, leaving it in Paul’s grip. GOAT is behind Beulah, smelling her rear end. RED ROCKET beginning to come out of hiding.
PAUL MONTUORI
Oh uh.. That’s uh.. Great.
GOAT eyes have rolled in the back of his head, tongue wagging as he continues to sniff.
BEULAH
So, you said you had a relationship with my daughter. When did that happen?
PAUL MONTUORI
Uh.. Recent. Was it recently? It feels like it was so long ago.
So, you said you had a relationship with my daughter. When did that happen?
PAUL MONTUORI
Uh.. Recent. Was it recently? It feels like it was so long ago.
GOAT is standing on his hind legs, RED ROCKET in full effect. GOAT looks Beulah up and down, ready to spring into action.
PAUL MONTUORI
Listen.. I uh.. I gotta go. GOAT isn’t feeling well.
BEULAH
Alright sugar bear, if you’re ever in Bent Fork, you come on over to the Ponderosa and let me cook you some supper.
PAUL MONTUORI
Absolutely. And it was great to finally meet you.
Listen.. I uh.. I gotta go. GOAT isn’t feeling well.
BEULAH
Alright sugar bear, if you’re ever in Bent Fork, you come on over to the Ponderosa and let me cook you some supper.
PAUL MONTUORI
Absolutely. And it was great to finally meet you.
Paul catches GOAT just as he jumps toward Beulah. He staggers through the crowd, careful not to touch the RED ROCKET. They plow through the door, outside.
EXT. BROADWAY - CONTINUOUS
The RED ROCKET touches Paul’s hand as he freaks and throws GOAT. GOAT goes flying through the air, landing RED ROCKET first onto Hillbilly #1, who’s bent over tying his cowboy boots. Hillbilly #1 jumps up in shock, touching the wet stain on his ass. He turns around to see GOAT lying flat on his back, huge smile on his face as the RED ROCKET begins to recede.
PAUL MONTUORI
Oh wow.. I’m sorry.
HILLBILLY #3
Did that goat just violate you?
HILLBILLY #2
You can’t punch a goat.
Oh wow.. I’m sorry.
HILLBILLY #3
Did that goat just violate you?
HILLBILLY #2
You can’t punch a goat.
All three good ol’ boys look at the goat, then at Paul.
PAUL MONTUORI
Easy fellas.. I had nothing to do with this.. It’s the goat you want..
Easy fellas.. I had nothing to do with this.. It’s the goat you want..
Paul slowly starts to back up.
EXT. ALLEY - DAWN
GOAT stands over Paul, licking his face. Paul starts to stir, before sitting up. He holds his head as he has dried blood on his face.
PAUL MONTUORI
Aww GOAT, what the fuck..
Aww GOAT, what the fuck..
He slowly stands up, groaning. He picks up the OPW Tag title and steps out from the alley.
PAUL MONTUORI
I’m starving..
I’m starving..
He turns and starts to walk down the street.
GOAT
Baahh..
PAUL MONTUORI
Uh.. Fuck.. You’re right, you’re right..
Baahh..
PAUL MONTUORI
Uh.. Fuck.. You’re right, you’re right..
Paul turns around.
PAUL MONTUORI
I’m cutting to the fucking chase tho..
I’m cutting to the fucking chase tho..
He steps up to the camera.
I don’t usually do this. Break the whole fourth wall thing. But fuck it.. Amari.. How fucking dare you? Tryna’ come at me on Twitter. “Paul’s gonna be my 3-0”? Bruh.. How fucking dare you? Are you that oblivious as to who I am? What I’ve done? Who I’ve embarrassed? Do you know who the fuck Paul Montuori is? Of course not, of course you don’t. If you did you would’ve thought twice about trying to get my attention. Try and get me riled up heading into our match. What’s up with you fucking Gen Z bitches? You know it all, you think you’re better than everyone. You don’t do your research. Don’t bother and learn your history. If you did, you would’ve learned from Surfer Bitch. He tried coming at me on Twitter too. It didn’t end well for him. He bit off more than he could chew. He wiped out. Embarrassed again. Nothing worse than coming out, talking shit and being made a fool. Learn from others Amari. Learn from their mistakes. Those mistakes will help you elevate your game. Be able to one day be on my level kid. You’re still a jit, wet behind the ears. A rookie. Don’t know no better. It’s not your fault, you’ll get there. One day..
And yowzers! That day could be at uh.. Whatever F2B calls their weekly shows. I could look it up, but why bother.. This could be your moment. Your one shot to finally prove to everyone how great you are. You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime. You got this B-Rabbit. This is your opportunity, your moment to seize. Your chance to finally prove you’re somebody. Try to prove you’re the man. Isn’t that what you’ve been blabbing about the last few weeks? How you’re climbing up the ranks? Isn’t that what the whole Twitter bullshit was about? It’s time to seize the opportunity, kid. What a win it’d be, what a fucking rub. It’s your moment to shine, moment to prove to everyone that you’re not a fluke. That you can win the big one. Your first real test. Because, let’s be honest, you didn’t get Brandon Moore at 100% last week. Ya barely had him at half mast. And that comment could go both ways..
Amari Hunt, ya little cunt.. See, I can rhyme too. Spit hot fire. Think I can hop in the booth at your next studio session? I mean, why not rap too. That’s never really been done before right? Rapping and wrestling. Or maybe you’re more an R&B type of guy. You look like one of those soft ass, in your feelings R&B types. Do you youngin’s still call it R&B or do you have another name for it? Who can keep up anymore. Geezus I sound like an old fuck. You should capitalize Amari. Capitalize on the fact that you’re the young up and comer, hungry like a wolf, all to make a name for yourself. In the ring with the GOAT. There’s only one fucking GOAT papito. You’re fucking looking at him. Thee one and only. I’ve been in hibernation, waiting for that moment to come back. Time has come. Time has come to end the fairy tale dreams all of these jits have been living this entire time. Time to pop that bubble. Bring them crashing back down to reality. Back down to fucking reality Amari..
Wake up, wake up, wake up.. It’s the end of your streak. And it’s a fucking shame its going to have to happen before it really got started. I was initially pulling for you. You’ve got some spunk kid. You’re going places. F2B head honchos were dumb to toss you in my path so early in your run. They figured it was a good move, seeing as you just beat the other half of Dub Dub. What they didn’t seem to take in account that Brandon really wasn’t invested fully in the match. He’s got a lot on his mind. XCore Championship over in OPW. Bigger fish to fry. SO even though you didn’t beat him at his full potential, ya still beat him kid. Not a small task. No matter how much B has invested, a win over him is still something to toot your horn over. So go ahead and toot that fucking horn..
I could’ve seen myself taking you under my wing kid. You look like you need some direction. That chick isn’t enough. If you had some direction, they would’ve warned you about me kid. But alas, here we are. You, young and cocky. Completely ready to take the world by storm. Better than everyone. Faster than everyone. Stronger than everyone. I remember those days kid. I remember that feeling. I still feel the same today, as I stand here before you. One tiny difference. I’ve fucking lived you. You’re just dreaming it. You’re dreaming of making it big. Dreaming of achieving greatness. Been there, done that. I’ve slayed the fucking giants. I’ve rescued the princesses, even though bitches wanna forget.. I’ve been to the mountaintop and looked down upon the rest of the peasants. Firmly planting that Paul motherfucking Montuori flag for the whole world to see. For the whole world to stare at in awe. This is just another day at the office for me kid. Just another paycheck. This is everything for you. This is your entire career. That Rocky Balboa moment. Harry Potter staring down You Know Who in the Riddle Family Graveyard shit. Opportunity awaits you. That brass ring waiting to be grabbed. You gonna do it Amari? Nobody would blame you if ya choked..
This will be just a stumble in your career kid. Just a minor setback. The match you needed to put everything into perspective. To be able to see the bigger picture on how to be where I’m at, where I’ve been. Everything you want to be. It’s OK to admit it. I’m fucking handsome. I’m dope as fuck. Best part is, everyone fucking knows it. They’ll never admit it. You’ll never admit it. Don’t have to. Your admittance don’t matter. None of it does. All that matters papito, all that matters is Paul Montuori stays doing PaulMontuori. Dub Fucking Dub Bay Bay! I mean, how cool is that? Why am I asking you? Rocking braids like Da Brat. Sooo, sooo, sooooo funkdafied..
So alas, I near the end of my diatribe. The point where I’m supposed to wrap this shit up. Come to an end. Drop some fucking philosophical droplets of widsom, leaving the masses in awe, wanting more. Needing more. But for what? Why waste my time with you fucking peasants out there. Why waste my time anymore with you Amari? You don’t fucking matter kid. This match doesn’t matter. Not for me at least. I’m a made fucking man. This match. It’s the entire world for you. You have to win. You have to beat me. You already declared yourself 3-0. Already looking to the future. To the next opponent. Looking to hold some belt. Hold your horses kid. Wake the fuck up from that dream before you come crashing into the nightmare that is Paul Montuori.. Nah, that was kinda eh. Some stupid shit that you would say Amari. I’m above that. And I'm over this clown..
And yowzers! That day could be at uh.. Whatever F2B calls their weekly shows. I could look it up, but why bother.. This could be your moment. Your one shot to finally prove to everyone how great you are. You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime. You got this B-Rabbit. This is your opportunity, your moment to seize. Your chance to finally prove you’re somebody. Try to prove you’re the man. Isn’t that what you’ve been blabbing about the last few weeks? How you’re climbing up the ranks? Isn’t that what the whole Twitter bullshit was about? It’s time to seize the opportunity, kid. What a win it’d be, what a fucking rub. It’s your moment to shine, moment to prove to everyone that you’re not a fluke. That you can win the big one. Your first real test. Because, let’s be honest, you didn’t get Brandon Moore at 100% last week. Ya barely had him at half mast. And that comment could go both ways..
Amari Hunt, ya little cunt.. See, I can rhyme too. Spit hot fire. Think I can hop in the booth at your next studio session? I mean, why not rap too. That’s never really been done before right? Rapping and wrestling. Or maybe you’re more an R&B type of guy. You look like one of those soft ass, in your feelings R&B types. Do you youngin’s still call it R&B or do you have another name for it? Who can keep up anymore. Geezus I sound like an old fuck. You should capitalize Amari. Capitalize on the fact that you’re the young up and comer, hungry like a wolf, all to make a name for yourself. In the ring with the GOAT. There’s only one fucking GOAT papito. You’re fucking looking at him. Thee one and only. I’ve been in hibernation, waiting for that moment to come back. Time has come. Time has come to end the fairy tale dreams all of these jits have been living this entire time. Time to pop that bubble. Bring them crashing back down to reality. Back down to fucking reality Amari..
Wake up, wake up, wake up.. It’s the end of your streak. And it’s a fucking shame its going to have to happen before it really got started. I was initially pulling for you. You’ve got some spunk kid. You’re going places. F2B head honchos were dumb to toss you in my path so early in your run. They figured it was a good move, seeing as you just beat the other half of Dub Dub. What they didn’t seem to take in account that Brandon really wasn’t invested fully in the match. He’s got a lot on his mind. XCore Championship over in OPW. Bigger fish to fry. SO even though you didn’t beat him at his full potential, ya still beat him kid. Not a small task. No matter how much B has invested, a win over him is still something to toot your horn over. So go ahead and toot that fucking horn..
I could’ve seen myself taking you under my wing kid. You look like you need some direction. That chick isn’t enough. If you had some direction, they would’ve warned you about me kid. But alas, here we are. You, young and cocky. Completely ready to take the world by storm. Better than everyone. Faster than everyone. Stronger than everyone. I remember those days kid. I remember that feeling. I still feel the same today, as I stand here before you. One tiny difference. I’ve fucking lived you. You’re just dreaming it. You’re dreaming of making it big. Dreaming of achieving greatness. Been there, done that. I’ve slayed the fucking giants. I’ve rescued the princesses, even though bitches wanna forget.. I’ve been to the mountaintop and looked down upon the rest of the peasants. Firmly planting that Paul motherfucking Montuori flag for the whole world to see. For the whole world to stare at in awe. This is just another day at the office for me kid. Just another paycheck. This is everything for you. This is your entire career. That Rocky Balboa moment. Harry Potter staring down You Know Who in the Riddle Family Graveyard shit. Opportunity awaits you. That brass ring waiting to be grabbed. You gonna do it Amari? Nobody would blame you if ya choked..
This will be just a stumble in your career kid. Just a minor setback. The match you needed to put everything into perspective. To be able to see the bigger picture on how to be where I’m at, where I’ve been. Everything you want to be. It’s OK to admit it. I’m fucking handsome. I’m dope as fuck. Best part is, everyone fucking knows it. They’ll never admit it. You’ll never admit it. Don’t have to. Your admittance don’t matter. None of it does. All that matters papito, all that matters is Paul Montuori stays doing PaulMontuori. Dub Fucking Dub Bay Bay! I mean, how cool is that? Why am I asking you? Rocking braids like Da Brat. Sooo, sooo, sooooo funkdafied..
So alas, I near the end of my diatribe. The point where I’m supposed to wrap this shit up. Come to an end. Drop some fucking philosophical droplets of widsom, leaving the masses in awe, wanting more. Needing more. But for what? Why waste my time with you fucking peasants out there. Why waste my time anymore with you Amari? You don’t fucking matter kid. This match doesn’t matter. Not for me at least. I’m a made fucking man. This match. It’s the entire world for you. You have to win. You have to beat me. You already declared yourself 3-0. Already looking to the future. To the next opponent. Looking to hold some belt. Hold your horses kid. Wake the fuck up from that dream before you come crashing into the nightmare that is Paul Montuori.. Nah, that was kinda eh. Some stupid shit that you would say Amari. I’m above that. And I'm over this clown..
Paul turns away from the camera.
PAUL MONTUORI
GOAT, let’s make like a fucking banana and split..
GOAT, let’s make like a fucking banana and split..
Paul walks off as GOAT walks up to the camera.
GOAT
Bahhh..
Bahhh..
GOAT turns around and walks off, leaving the last thing we see if goat ass.