Post by Jupiter on Feb 11, 2021 4:59:16 GMT
JuPiTeR
“Hellooooooo, you beautiful people! It’s that time again! Time for me to connect with all my fans out there.”
“Unc, I’ve got class in about ten minutes, but luckily you don’t have many fans, so..”
“I beg to differ, Patrick! I was the BIGGEST part of that tag team steel cage match.”
“How do you figure that?!”
“Patrick! Not now.. I’m trying to talk to the people!”
“I think it’s a logical question!”, Jupe’s six year old nephew continues.
“No one’s going to remember Karen and Richie Florida, Patrick. Karen is the epitome of someone that literally no one wants to be around. And when I learned throughout the night that Karen is actually the aunt of co-owner Travis Dawson, it all made sense.”
“And the same goes for Richie Florida. Sure, he understood how a steel cage match worked. He showed out with some good wrestling moves and I was undoubtedly on the receiving end of many of them. But besides that? He lacked personality. And then there was my partner.. Kieran Kelley. The most FORGETTABLE competitor that took part in that match! Why?! Because he understood the rules and didn’t bother to share them with me!”
“I… don’t think that’s how it happened, Unc. Everyone saw you climb to the top of the cage and just freeze up! You didn’t know what to do! I think your fear of heights got the better of ya!”
“Ya know, for a six year old, you sure do talk a lot of shit!”
“You could learn something from me!”
“WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!”, Jupe pleads with his nephew, who is going out of his way to make his uncle look bad while he broadcasts live on Youtube. “AS I WAS SAYING!!! Kieran could’ve yelled for me to climb down. He could’ve even climbed up and grabbed me down!! Guided me ; steered me in the right direction! But NO!”
“Kieran was chanting from outside of the cage looking like a straight up ant from my vantage point sounding like Charlie Brown’s teacher.”
“The beauty of all this, however, is that I went down as the SOLE competitor in that match that people are going to remember. They’ll always remember the guy who messed things up ; the one who stood atop that cage looking oh so sexy in his eccentric ring attire! I was looking good, wasn’t I, nephew?!”
“....Five minutes ‘til my class!”
“Oh, who asked you anyway?! You hear that, everybody?! You see how my nephew treats me?!”
Patrick turns the corner and glances at his laptop that he’s allowing his ameteur wrestler, dipshit uncle to borrow.
“Who are you talking to when you say ‘everybody’ though?! There’s literally NO ONE here! Then again, it’d help if you had more than 1 subscriber.”
“I don’t need numbers. I don’t need a ton of people telling me I’m the shit. I don’t need validation. I know I did a great job and I carried my own weight and I looked great doing it! Hopefully management doesn’t make the same shitty mistake as last time by having me share a ring with Kieran Kelley..”
“Who’re you fighting this coming week, Unc?!”
“Alex Scott.”
“Ohhhh, he’s going to kick your ass!”
“Judging by what I’ve seen, I think I stand a fairly good chance against this guy. He was on a HUGE losing streak up until this past show when he defeated LeXxXi Riot. ..Which doesn’t seem like it’d require much skill being that LeXxXi’s pilled the fuck out! But that’s besides the point. Alex is a pushover. A doormat. And that’s exactly the kind of opponent I need this week, being that I’m looking to make a serious name for myself!”
“People truly underestimate Alex, Unc. That's been peoples' problem when it comes to him! Anddddd, he’s grown a lot in the short period of time he’s been here and I have a feeling this isn’t going to be as easy for you as you think..”
“You’re underestimating ME, nephew! If there’s anything to be taken away from my performance at High Voltage: Grudgematch, it’s that even in the midst of failure, I STILL have a knack for making a name for myself. I’m always going to stand out. I’m always going to be..”
“...And by the time the end of High Voltage 10 rolls around? EVERYONE is going to have ALREADY forgotten ALL about Alex Scott!”
Awkward pause. Jupe is looking all around the bar area, even looking underneath the stool he’s sitting on.
“What’re you looking for?!”
“The stop button!”
“....Well it damn sure isn’t on the fucking floor, Unc!”
“WATCH YOUR MOUTH!!!”
“Here! I’ll end the live broadcast for you..”
“Bye, guys!!”
“Unc, I’ve got class in about ten minutes, but luckily you don’t have many fans, so..”
“I beg to differ, Patrick! I was the BIGGEST part of that tag team steel cage match.”
“How do you figure that?!”
“Patrick! Not now.. I’m trying to talk to the people!”
“I think it’s a logical question!”, Jupe’s six year old nephew continues.
“No one’s going to remember Karen and Richie Florida, Patrick. Karen is the epitome of someone that literally no one wants to be around. And when I learned throughout the night that Karen is actually the aunt of co-owner Travis Dawson, it all made sense.”
Because NOBODY likes him!
“And the same goes for Richie Florida. Sure, he understood how a steel cage match worked. He showed out with some good wrestling moves and I was undoubtedly on the receiving end of many of them. But besides that? He lacked personality. And then there was my partner.. Kieran Kelley. The most FORGETTABLE competitor that took part in that match! Why?! Because he understood the rules and didn’t bother to share them with me!”
“I… don’t think that’s how it happened, Unc. Everyone saw you climb to the top of the cage and just freeze up! You didn’t know what to do! I think your fear of heights got the better of ya!”
“Ya know, for a six year old, you sure do talk a lot of shit!”
“You could learn something from me!”
“WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!”, Jupe pleads with his nephew, who is going out of his way to make his uncle look bad while he broadcasts live on Youtube. “AS I WAS SAYING!!! Kieran could’ve yelled for me to climb down. He could’ve even climbed up and grabbed me down!! Guided me ; steered me in the right direction! But NO!”
My inexperience led to my fumbling.
But seriously.. Where the FUCK was Kieran?!
“Kieran was chanting from outside of the cage looking like a straight up ant from my vantage point sounding like Charlie Brown’s teacher.”
WOMP, WOMP!
“The beauty of all this, however, is that I went down as the SOLE competitor in that match that people are going to remember. They’ll always remember the guy who messed things up ; the one who stood atop that cage looking oh so sexy in his eccentric ring attire! I was looking good, wasn’t I, nephew?!”
“....Five minutes ‘til my class!”
“Oh, who asked you anyway?! You hear that, everybody?! You see how my nephew treats me?!”
Patrick turns the corner and glances at his laptop that he’s allowing his ameteur wrestler, dipshit uncle to borrow.
“Who are you talking to when you say ‘everybody’ though?! There’s literally NO ONE here! Then again, it’d help if you had more than 1 subscriber.”
“I don’t need numbers. I don’t need a ton of people telling me I’m the shit. I don’t need validation. I know I did a great job and I carried my own weight and I looked great doing it! Hopefully management doesn’t make the same shitty mistake as last time by having me share a ring with Kieran Kelley..”
Unless it’s a 1-on-1 opportunity to KICK his ASS!!!
“Who’re you fighting this coming week, Unc?!”
“Alex Scott.”
“Ohhhh, he’s going to kick your ass!”
“Judging by what I’ve seen, I think I stand a fairly good chance against this guy. He was on a HUGE losing streak up until this past show when he defeated LeXxXi Riot. ..Which doesn’t seem like it’d require much skill being that LeXxXi’s pilled the fuck out! But that’s besides the point. Alex is a pushover. A doormat. And that’s exactly the kind of opponent I need this week, being that I’m looking to make a serious name for myself!”
“People truly underestimate Alex, Unc. That's been peoples' problem when it comes to him! Anddddd, he’s grown a lot in the short period of time he’s been here and I have a feeling this isn’t going to be as easy for you as you think..”
“You’re underestimating ME, nephew! If there’s anything to be taken away from my performance at High Voltage: Grudgematch, it’s that even in the midst of failure, I STILL have a knack for making a name for myself. I’m always going to stand out. I’m always going to be..”
REMEMBERED!
“...And by the time the end of High Voltage 10 rolls around? EVERYONE is going to have ALREADY forgotten ALL about Alex Scott!”
Awkward pause. Jupe is looking all around the bar area, even looking underneath the stool he’s sitting on.
“What’re you looking for?!”
“The stop button!”
“....Well it damn sure isn’t on the fucking floor, Unc!”
“WATCH YOUR MOUTH!!!”
“Here! I’ll end the live broadcast for you..”
“Bye, guys!!”
FADE 2 BLACK.